Julie, who’s 38 and lives in North Carolina, considers herself, her husband, and their two kids “zero COVID individuals.” Motivated by studies about COVID-19’s potential long-term effects on the body, they orient their lives round not getting the virus. Meaning avoiding indoor areas the place individuals received’t be masked, usually sporting masks exterior, and searching for out service suppliers who’re nonetheless taking precautions, resembling masking and utilizing air purifiers. For probably the most half, Julie says, that is tremendous. “There’s not an entire lot we don’t do,” she says—they simply do all of it in high-quality masks. (Like others interviewed for this story, Julie requested to be recognized by solely her first identify to guard her household’s privateness.)

The vacations, nonetheless, current some challenges. Julie’s family are now not prepared to take the security measures that might make her household feel comfortable gathering with them in individual, she says, so her household pod will rejoice by “making higher meals” than regular and consuming it at residence. The toughest half, she says, is watching relations who had been as soon as open to isolating for 14 days earlier than visits now forgo precautions, realizing which means Julie and her household received’t really feel comfy becoming a member of the festivities.

“We’re not skipping; we’re being excluded,” Julie says. If her family had been prepared to put on good masks inside and eat exterior, she says she’d be “principally” comfy getting collectively. However that willingness—so sturdy in 2020—has by now pale away.

Different COVID-cautious individuals are probably going through related disagreements with family members. In keeping with information from the Harris Ballot collected for TIME, vacation celebrations are transferring again towards their pre-pandemic norms. This 12 months, 72% of U.S. adults plan to rejoice the vacations with at the least one individual exterior their family—down from the 81% who did so earlier than the pandemic, however up from 66% final 12 months. About 45% plan to journey throughout this 12 months’s vacation season, in comparison with 58% pre-pandemic and 42% final 12 months.

However at the same time as a lot of the nation moves on from pandemic-era policies, loads of households are nonetheless planning to spend the vacations gathered round Zoom screens and outside warmth lamps, doing their finest to take “a aspect dish and present to the vacation dinner, not a virus,” as Claire, 39, places it. About 55% of U.S. adults mentioned COVID-19 will have an effect on their vacation plans, in keeping with the TIME-Harris Ballot information. Even amongst those that might be gathering with others in individual, a few third plan to restrict the scale of their celebrations, whereas 12% mentioned they’d require masks or maintain the occasion outdoor.

Claire and her husband, who stay within the South, will do the entire above. They had been cautious about illness unfold even previous to the pandemic, since they’ve a 4-year-old who was born prematurely and will expertise severe problems from respiratory diseases. This vacation season, they’ll bundle up and put on masks to rejoice on the patio at Claire’s in-laws’ home. For Thanksgiving dinner, they’ll eat at reverse corners of the patio earlier than placing their masks again on. If it’s too chilly on Christmas to open presents exterior, they’ll alternate presents after which head again to their respective properties to unwrap them.

That’s the way in which they’ve carried out it since 2020, Claire says, however she acknowledges that the system requires sacrifices. She doesn’t really feel comfy attending her grandmother’s giant, multi-family Thanksgiving dinner and she or he principally sees her buddies and their kids by way of Zoom today. However for Claire, the downsides pale compared to retaining her household wholesome within the face of a virus that, for a subset of people that catch it, can potentially lead to life-long disability. “I’m in a state of affairs the place I’m in a position to shield my little one and shield us, and I’m going to do the whole lot that I can,” she says.

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Different households with threat elements are additionally going to nice lengths to keep away from the virus. Karen, who’s 39 and lives in Tennessee, has had post-viral illness complications including chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia for 22 years, ever since she caught mono as an adolescent and by no means totally recovered. A typical chilly can land her in mattress for six weeks. COVID-19, her physician warned her in 2020, may very well be catastrophic for her well being.

With the virus nonetheless spreading extensively, Karen, her husband, and their toddler stay nearly utterly locked down, venturing out primarily for medical appointments and distanced outside actions resembling bike rides, picnics, and hikes. When buddies come over, her household visits with them by a window. Meaning massive vacation gatherings are off the desk for the foreseeable future.

“It’s at all times been crucial for me to have an open home for anyone who didn’t have a spot to go” over the vacations, Karen says. However today, her doorways stay closed to everybody besides her husband’s dad and mom, who stay domestically and lead a equally locked-down way of life.

Max, who’s 26 and lives in New York Metropolis, is following his dad and mom’ lead in relation to the virus. His dad and mom put on masks in every single place and keep away from riskier environments, resembling eating places and film theaters, since COVID-19 may be extreme for individuals of their age group. Max opted to spend Thanksgiving along with his girlfriend’s household moderately than his personal to keep away from making his dad and mom anxious about doubtlessly getting sick.

He could go residence for the winter holidays, he says, since he’ll have extra time to quarantine and check beforehand. Max says he’d really feel tremendous dropping these precautions if his dad and mom now not requested them, however for now, he’s joyful to do what’s going to make them comfy. “I perceive the precept that the extra at-risk individuals set the foundations,” he says.

Not everyone seems to be so understanding. Kara Darling, who’s 46 and lives in Delaware, is within the technique of divorcing her husband as a result of he was able to “reintegrate” into society across the time vaccines rolled out, and she or he has chosen to stay extremely COVID-cautious by working remotely, homeschooling her youngsters, and socializing solely with those that are prepared to take strict precautions. Darling’s stance is knowledgeable each by her work as a practices and analysis supervisor at a clinic that treats individuals with complicated circumstances, which has uncovered her to the realities of life with Long COVID, and by the truth that three of her kids have overactive immune programs.

Learn Extra: How to Tell If Your Health Concerns Are Normal—Or a Sign of Something More

“You grieve your plans and the truth you thought you had been going to have and what you thought life was going to seem like,” she says. “While you get to acceptance, then the query turns into, ‘Am I going to sit down round and bemoan the existence of a life I want I had, or am I going to pivot?’”

Darling has chosen to pivot. She runs a number of Fb teams for people who find themselves “nonetheless COVIDing”—that’s, nonetheless taking precautions in opposition to getting the virus. She additionally arrange a recurring outside meetup for homeschooled youngsters in her space and has cultivated a group prepared to construct new vacation traditions for the pandemic period. Households in her “nonetheless COVIDing” circle mail playing cards forward of Valentine’s Day and treats for Halloween. They alternate home-cooked dishes on Thanksgiving and eat them collectively over Zoom. They go away presents on porches for birthdays and honk after they drive by to say howdy.

Darling’s Thanksgiving might be small this 12 months—simply her family, her oldest son, and her son’s girlfriend, cooking and consuming collectively at residence. (Darling’s son and his girlfriend don’t stay along with her, in order that they’ll keep away from any pointless public actions, put on respirators, and check a number of instances within the 10 days earlier than coming over.) However exterior the partitions of her home, Darling has constructed connections that assist her get by the darkish moments.

“It’s about being a part of a group,” she says. “We constructed a trusted household.”

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Write to Jamie Ducharme at jamie.ducharme@time.com.